Accepting Yourself No Matter What

I can relate to just about anybody who does not fully and completely accept Self for who they are. I struggled with unconditional self acceptance for many years, and now that I’ve found out “how” to fully accept myself, unconditionally, I wanted to pass this information on to you so that you can know exactly how to go about it, and feel the self love that you deserve.

First and foremost, the old luxury of negative self talk, self condemnation, put downs, and self degradation must cease, permanently. That means that you are no longer allowed to cut yourself down. If you notice something about yourself that you would like to improve, that is perfectly fine. However, this area does not constitute your core self and entire being to be deemed worthless.

If you were put down in your earlier years, or if you are being put down today by others, please know in no uncertain terms that the perceptions of others have absolutely nothing to do with you.

To illustrate this point, let’s say that I was color blind, and I said to you: “I really think the green and purple hair on your head looks horrible.” (No offense to anyone if you have green or purple hair, this is just used as a metaphor.) Now if you did not have green or purple hair, you would logically conclude that I was out of my mind. I highly doubt that you would take that personally. And yet, if that was my perception, and I felt completely convinced about my opinion of you, based on my perception, and put you down as a result, that would be my problem, and not the truth about you.

If anyone puts you down, in any manner, in any way, it is not about you! It is about the other person’s perceptions! Now, if you put yourself down, then somewhere along the line you bought into the false belief that if only you were such and such, then you would be worthy. If only you had this or that, then you would feel whole and complete. Guess what? Such and such and this and that will never make you feel worthy, whole and complete. Because once you attain whatever “it” is, your mind would find yet another reason to feel worthy, and the vicious cycle would go on.

It is high time you take a solid inventory of everything within you that is lovable, worthy, and genuine. Do you care about others? Are you honest? Here are a few more qualities that you might genuinely have within you: Generous, sympathetic, courageous, intelligent, capable, determined, trustworthy, ethical, loving, warm, sensitive, feisty, sense of humor, compassionate, perseverance, humanitarian and kind. You might also communicate well. Be well organized, or detail oriented.

Every time you cut yourself down, become consciously aware of it. Just catch yourself, and without judgment, replace the negative (habitual) comment with one that is more truthful and positive about you.

It’s easy to destroy. It’s easy to allow all kinds of negative thought run rampant within your mind. It’s also just as easy to consciously turn the table, and transform the flip side of the negative comment you have made about yourself. It only takes conscious awareness, and practice.

If you never played tennis, and went on the court for the first time, I would wager to say that you might not have a game that would take you to the national tennis championship. It takes practice, and a lot of practice at that!

The same is true of your view of Self. If you have placed a certain criteria to feel worthy, then you have placed a lie into your mind. If you are overweight, and put yourself down because of it, I can assure you that there are plenty of people that are quite thin that also feel unworthy, because they wish they weighted more!

Nothing on the outside will ever make you feel whole and complete. You never need the validation of another person to feel worthy. The only validation you will ever need about your worth as a spiritual human being is your own.

If someone compliments you, simply say Thank you. Stop yourself from saying: “Oh, no I’m not” when someone tells you something that is kind. Furthermore, never take a compliment or an insult too seriously, because this too has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the other person’s perceptions.

If you pained a painting, and two people walked into the room, one person could say: “That is the ugliest painting I have ever seen!” The other person could say: “That is the most gorgeous painting I have ever seen!” Do their comments have anything to do with you? No, they do not.

I used to be so hard on myself. Always wanting to feel “good enough.” It only took over three decades to find my worth from the inside out, and never judge or compare myself to another human being. Each person on our planet is special. I learned to place myself on equal footing with all of humanity. So I am no better and no worse than a person living in a dumpster. We are all equal.

I used to think if I were a size 6 or 8 that would make me more acceptable to myself. I then realized that when I was a size 8 I used to cry myself to sleep. I realized that clothing is made in all sizes, and I do not have to look like a model to feel more acceptable to myself. Once I gave myself permission to be good enough, just as I am, the self judgment stopped, and so did the inner feelings of inadequacy. There are many people that have it all on the outside, and still feel inadequate deep down within. I was no exception. However, once you really turn that around, and fully accept yourself, even with your so-called flaws, then you can begin a journey that is filled with love, and joy, rather than disharmony within.

No matter what you think will make you more worthy, find an example of someone else that has that exact condition that you do not judge. Then, stop judging yourself completely.

You can only feel the joy of life when your mind is free from self imposed limitations and negative judgment. Be an example of your radiant self that does lie within, by being and sharing you greatest inner qualities, and bring those out. Focus on all of the good that you are, so that you will always feel good enough and accept yourself no matter what.